Travel Adventure
It’s not what you think. This kind of travel journey doesn’t involve flying on a plane or packing a suitcase, although there is definitely some baggage involved.
“The trouble is, old age is not interesting until one gets there. It’s a foreign country with an unknown language to the young and even to the middle-aged.”
This travel adventure to a “foreign country” is my own journey into aging, and God-willing, “old old” will be the destination. It’s perhaps the most important trip of my cumulative life, so I want to make sure I have done everything possible to be the most responsible traveler I can be.
So what exactly is the destination “old old”? I first heard of this description of aging in one of May Sarton’s journals, and found out it was actually a description of phases framed in sociology: “The older adult population can be divided into three life-stage subgroups: the young-old (approximately 65–74), the middle-old (ages 75–84), and the old-old (over age 85). Today’s young-old age group is generally happier, healthier, and financially better off than the young-old of previous generations.” The numbers bookending the phases may have shifted a bit, I honestly don’t know, but I really like this concept. It reminded me of descriptions of travel plans I’ve heard from people: “First we’ll take a cruise to _____ then fly to _____ until we reach our ultimate destination of _____.” And the travel analogy for this blog post was born.
What is the first thing one might do when traveling to a foreign destination? Well, consult the internet of course. I went straight to the Travelers Insurance Company to check out their recommendations. They were easily adapted to my own journey, with some minor additions and tweaking.
LEARN THE LANGUAGE
There is a lexicon that I didn’t think much about until I began my journey to this foreign land from “young old to middle old to old old.” Now I can converse like a native about Medicare, Social Security, annuities, pensions, and the benefits of AARP. It took a while to feel comfortable to initiate a conversation about such things, but now I am less self-conscious. Recently, I’ve taken a deeper dive into the cultural influences associated with “ageism.” Fluency definitely reveals some deeper understandings that aren’t always pleasant.
PACK LIGHT
Accumulating certain “stuff” was fun over a lifetime, but as I prepare for this journey to the next and final phases of life, I don’t want or need so much stuff. And I certainly don’t want to burden whomever is tasked with clearing out my life after I am gone. I don’t mean to sound morbid here, just realistic. Swedish Death Cleaning sounds like a god-awful process, but it sure makes a lot of sense. The internet is full of “how to” articles and there is a book written on the topic that lays it all out: The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter. There is even a checklist to follow. My husband and I are starting with clothing. A lot of it has already gone to Goodwill, but I have such a long way to go. I was worried about all the stuff that wasn’t suitable for Goodwill that I did not want to end up in the landfill. I found out that our recycling center takes those kinds of things for just a dollar a bag. The material gets turned into insulation. After clothing, you continue with the clutter by size, and finally you declutter your digital life. I am trying to buy less, pay attention to packaging, and pack as many unused household things for charity as I can stand. It’s not easy. These are my current strategies to pack light for destination “old old.”
SECURE YOUR VALUABLES
On this journey, the valuable I am keeping safe at all times is my health. I don’t let my health goals get out of my line of sight too often. Eating for cognitive health, exercising to keep my heart strong, and keeping myself informed of health issues and recommended actions for my age and profile are things that keep me alert to possible threats on this journey.
SHARE YOUR TRAVEL ITINERARY
“Young old” is the right time for my husband and I to get our finances and other important plans in order and make sure significant others know the plan we have for destination “old old. ” Wills, Advance Directives, Living Trusts, long-term care plans, assisted living facilities, Power-of-Attorney, planning for probate, family members’ roles, etc. didn’t exactly cross my mind when I was kicking up my heels for the first 3 to 5 decades of my life, but they are on my mind now. Each of the aging phases has specific “stops along the way.” My husband has two adult children, we both have siblings, and I have some very special life-long friends who have been like family. We want them to know our itinerary. Putting things like this in order is necessary preparation for a smooth trip.
MAKE AN EMERGENCY PLAN
I have always been a pretty good “just in case” planner. During the pandemic, I brought it to an art form in our home. There were important talks, lists, a mini grocery store in our basement, and contingency plans in case one of us became seriously ill. Covid emergency bags containing soups, ginger ale, Gatorade, crackers, tissues, ibuprofen, and lists of our medications sat in the back of a closet, thankfully unused. I am still learning about the best emergency plans for this journey. One plan includes having a bag packed for the hospital with all the necessities, including a few books, a new journal and pen, and detailed directions of where to find important things back at home. My husband has been very on top of this, and all his important information is easy to access. As we continue to prepare for this journey to foreign territory, we’ll enlist the help of others much younger to become part of our emergency planning. Just being in the mindset of this kind of planning makes me feel like this can be a safe trip.
I fully intend to reach the foreign destination of “old old.” It is a distinct possibility that I will spend many of The Precious Days there. And I hope that when I do, I will find it to have been much like the travel adventure described by May Sarton in Coming into Eighty. I’m hoping the title of my poem would be “Coming into One Hundred.” As May said, “Wish me well.”
Coming into eighty
I slow my ship down
For a safe landing.
It has been battered,
One sail torn, the rudder
Sometimes wobbly.
We are hardly a glorious sight.
It has been a long voyage
Through time, travail and triumph,
Eighty years
Of learning what to be
And how to become it.
One day the ship will
decompose
and then what will become of me?
Only a breath
Gone into nothingness
Alone
Or a spirit of air and fire
Set free?
Who knows?
Greet us at landfall
The old ship and me,
But we can’t stay anchored.
Soon we must set sail
On the last mysterious voyage
Everybody takes
Toward death.
Without my ship there,
Wish me well.
Are you a planner in this phase of your life, more of a one-day-at-a-time person, or a combination of both? How are you navigating your own journey into aging? Drop me a line in the Comments section, and thank you for reading The Precious Days.
