All You’ve Ever Wanted in the World
I mentioned a quote from Ann Patchett’s Tom Lake in the Comments of my last post. It is one of the books I read in 2023 that will be among my top five no matter what else I read before the year ends. I was actually surprised by the depth of my pure and absolute love of this novel because I believe I own at least three other Ann Patchett books that I never really got into — bookmarks in place witnessing the lack of a compelling reason to keep going. Perhaps I’ll need to rethink that. Tom Lake was different. I lingered over every page, often rereading the beautiful arrangements of words and feeling them deep into my bones. The characters were so alive to me in a vaseline-covered lens, cinematic scope - their complexities, flaws, and humanity, so artfully and slowly moving the plot forward in a “beautiful human” kind of way. The mix of Lara’s storytelling, recounting a life painful in its current examination, with her reflection and her daughters’ reactions, along with Joe’s companionable support as they work as a family to harvest the cherries in this rural setting echo what I love most about “literature.” Sometimes I’d set the book down to just think about my own past and my own life and all the questions I wish I’d asked my parents…and just as Lara says in the story, “It was like being a leaf in a river. I fell in and was carried along."
For those of you who haven’t read it, here is a little context for the book Tom Lake. It’s not a review of the book…others do that much better. The novel is set in Michigan during the pandemic. It is time to harvest the cherries from the orchards on their farm, and Lara and Joe’s three daughters are all home, safe with their parents and helping with the harvest. The book starts out with high school Lara’s participation in the town’s production of Thornton Wilder’s “Our Town.” First, she is just helping out with the play, but then there is an opportunity to play Emily. Her innate talent in playing the role propels her onto Hollywood for a screen test and a movie (which gets shelved), and then Tom Lake in Michigan, summer stock theater, playing Emily once again. In that summer of her youth, Lara is again swept into slow moving life stories, where a half day can feel like six months. Characters take shape, and then in the present time of the pandemic her daughters will beg her to tell the stories of Tom Lake and especially the famous Peter Duke. Lara will finally reflect on that time of her life, her memories, and their meaning as she reveals more and more to her three daughters (so there is a tiny bit of Chekov’s “Cherry Orchard” in there, too, I guess).
The quote that begins this blogpost has become one of the most quoted passages from the book, and it’s what brings me to the page today. So many people can relate to the “simple truth.” So I don’t exaggerate when I say that retirement has become my “one morning”…. I am quite sure that almost moment by moment, all I’ve ever wanted is here. I feel so blessed that I have a home I enjoy so much. I find the property that surrounds my house, especially the gardens my husband has planted and cares for, are beautiful and peaceful, even as they turn to seed, hiding treasure for next spring. My life is filled with good books and ample time to write. The only people left in it are people that I genuinely care about. There is so much agency in the retirement years. I know that may sound contradictory, since society is so focused on what aging bodies and minds can no longer do…but I am here to tell you they are wrong. So wrong. And once you are out of the workforce, you no longer have hundreds of people to compare yourself to, or bombard you with their opinions and judgments. And you know what you get instead? Clarity…authenticity…agency…
“…and you are positive this is all you’ve ever wanted in the world.”
The other day my husband and I were standing on the deck together with our morning coffee. The sun was shining, it was cool and crisp, and the forecast of day-after-September-day of sun and comfortable temperatures was not a dream, but a reality. I looked over at him and said, “This is beautiful, isn’t it?” He knew exactly what I meant. This, all of this, is beautiful. Do I, will I still have problems, challenges, heartbreak? Of course. The alchemy of slow days to meander through, dipping between the joy or sadness of a present moment and memories of the past, paired with a depth of gratitude that I have for this phase of my life and all its contents results in a golden-hued clarity that this IS the time of my life.
“…and you are positive this is all you’ve ever wanted in the world.”
If you haven’t read Tom Lake, take this blogpost as a sign to read this beautiful tale. You don’t have to know the “Our Town” play to enjoy the book, but it makes it more fun. You can watch the sweet 1940 movie, Our Town, which is adapted from Wilder's play. This could be a nice "Artist Date" for devotees of Julia Cameron. Treat yourself to a large slice of cherry pie. Both Tom Lake and “Our Town” share the universal theme of appreciating life, even when it flies by or falls apart or is seen through someone else’s eyes. Happiness is what you have when you have it, so slow it down as best you can. Retirement gives you time to slow down time. Be reflective, be grateful, be still in watching your memories as they unfold, then tell your own stories to those who want to know them…to know you…to understand yourself. “Every, every minute of it” may at one time or another actually become The Precious Days.
“...and all we’re left with is a story.”
